Random Story time, episode one;

The manager at a wilderness hostel called Mosquito Creek used to do the job I do now before he moved out to Mosquito basically to shit in a hole and do very little in the way of work. He comes into town every now and then to complain about tourists and to shower. He was here today and he told me a story about an owl and a poodle which I still find hilarious.

Apparently about a week and a half ago a couple of frantic tourists from the southern states of the US came banging on his door saying that "Something" was eating their poodle. His first thought was bear so he grabbed his bear spray and an air horn and headed over to the campground where their poodle was going through some slightly traumatic final moments on this mortal coil.

Basically an owl had swooped down and was in the process of ripping the poodle into seven or eight different segments. Now my friend didn’t really know what to do in a situation like this, and since an owl posed no real threat to anyone bar the poodle he went and rang the park warden and had him come out.

The warden arrived within fifteen minutes or so, scared away an owl with something that resembles a flare gun that’s traditionally used on bears. The warden offered to deal with the remains of the poodle, to which the Americans consented.

To put things in perspective, the warden is an older gentleman and you can tell that he’s been doing this job for quite some time and has spent probably more than a couple of decades dealing with stupid tourists stupid behaviour.

As the warden was getting into his truck, the American gentleman said to him "I trust you’ll be buying us a new poodle". The warden looked him dead in the eye and said "Well actually, you’re just lucky I’m not giving you two tickets. One for having a dog off-leash in a national park and a second for feeding the wildlife."

Random Story time, episode two;

JD is back in Banff for about a week or so to say his goodbyes to everyone before heading to either Australia or Africa on a container ship.

He and three others went to one of the two clubs in town last night for a few drinks and to run amok in general. Today he told me a story of what happened to him.

He was standing at the bar, buying a drink when someone behind him grabs his arse. He turns around and there’s a random guy there whose just as shocked as he is and says "Wait, you’re a dude?", JD replies "Yeah, I have a beard and everything".

The random guy then proceeds to try and fight a very straight JD for being gay.